Sleeve Notes
Do you dislike Christmas and find others close to you enjoy it?
What can you do to find compromise?
After all, Christmas is the time for giving...isn't it?
The Christmas Opposers Coaching Gift List
(to support those who embrace Christmas)
Reframe...your thoughts over Christmas?
Take each potentially difficult moment and think what you could do differently.
For example - If you've lost a loved one at this time of year, think about how you can celebrate what made them so special and invite your friends/family who love Christmas to help you raise a glass to them on this important day.
How can this help?
This can help to reduce the isolation you might feel at this time.
It will keep the positive memories of your loved one alive.
Over time, this becomes a day of positive reflection and living with it will become easier.
There may be tears and hopefully smiles and laughter too. It's good to let it out with people you trust.
The Christmas 'lovers' will have a better understanding of your circumstances & feelings, especially if you are spending Christmas with them.
In time you may be able to process this time of year in a more positive way as each thing you start to reframe becomes a different experience.
Who know's, down the line, you might even start to reframe the way you manage a Christmas that works for everyone.
Consider...If you don't like Christmas, how you can make other times of the year special for those who love to celebrate.
Too often we throw all our eggs into one Christmas 'family' basket. By making an effort throughout the year, you may have more leverage to do your own thing at Christmas.
Find out...What you can do (no matter how small) to contribute to Christmas?
Agree what this looks like so you can be part of the preparations too.
Get creative...What can you add to Christmas this year to bring something different to the proceedings.
Be kind & generous...You have been invited for Christmas. How about deciding to make the most of it. It's a small percentage of your year.
Put everything in perspective - you are being fed, entertained (hopefully!), looked after and have a (warm) roof over your head. Some people won't have any of these things.
Gifting...If you are not one for giving presents or cards, you are feeling lazy, guilty, frugal or any thought/emotion which diverts you from doing this, think about the people where a gift would make a difference. This may be a charity, for example, so give what you can afford and perhaps this will feel more meaningful.
Put together...some things to look forward to. This could be over Christmas or in the New Year.
Take time out...Offer to walk the dog, take younger members out for some activity. Give your host/s the heads up you may need a small amount of quiet time. This could be for many reasons and with mutual understanding, shouldn't be made into a big thing.
Next year...Start thinking about how you can spread your goodwill throughout the year with those you would typically spend Christmas with.
What could Christmas 2025 look like for you?
When you know, start preparing others for 'your 2025 Christmas'.
Things you can say or do this year to find compromise.
What assumptions am I making about this Christmas?
How can I put my thoughts into perspective?
Where can I have input to this years events?
Who do I need to talk through any thoughts/feelings/concerns with?
Why does this matter? (Whatever 'this' is?).
What does compromise look like?
When will I see the people I usually see at Christmas?
Be clear and kind about what you want/need this year.
Don't make it personal.
Prepare the potential hosts in good time, so they have time to get used to the idea. I'm sure you would want them to do as much for you.
Here is a message from Mind.org.uk
'I try not to think too much about Christmas.
If it turns out to be good then that's a bonus, if not then at least I haven't got myself worked up over nothing!'
The Download
If you are feeling pressurised this Christmas, think about the people hosting you!
Their motivation is very likely to be wanting to make your Christmas enjoyable and this will potentially mean a lot of preparation, emotion and money invested in this.
So if it's too late to decline your invitation, take the time explore the compromises which will make Christmas enjoyable for you and those around you.
Next week - The final part of this trilogy - Peace on Earth
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